Jump Out of Your Skin

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We all make New Years Resolutions.  Most of them are rubbish and bound to fail.  Most come from the heart and are from a deep desire to do better,  they also usually fail.  Some are critical to our success and yes they are usually in tatters by mid January.  Here are the classics and what you can do to give yourself some chance of succeeding.

But before we start.

Resolutions 101

• You’ve gotta write it down.  Plus you have got to write it down correctly (see later)
• If you tell others it will make a huge difference as once they know it makes it harder to give up.
• Short list is good (5) long list is just pointless and even Superman(women) could not do it all.
• It has to be a little bit difficult – Must cut toenails is a good idea but not a goal really.
• Get a little notebook for a few cent and track daily what you do on the 5. (that could be a goal – keep track)

So the Classic Resolutions that Fail (with some tips)

1. Lose Weight
Probably the number one with Get Fit.  You are overweight,  afraid to go near the scales and so you are going to lose half your body weight by end of January. Sorry its not going to happen.  You didn’t do it last year and the gym cant even find your details (see later goal)

Here’s a Better Goal
I am going to eat a proper breakfast every day.  This goal is better because it is positive.  Buy some porridge and make this part of your breakfast.  Dump the Special K and the Cornflakes.  In a few weeks you will feel better.

2. Get Fit
A close competitor of losing weight and they are actually wrongly first cousins.  Exercise will not help you lose weight if you are eating like Rocky before a fight,but exercise will make you feel better. But doomed to failure and Lose Weight and Get Fit meet at the bus stop to Failed Resolutions every January.

What Should I Do So Smart Ass?
Change the goal.  Make it a positive.  I will walk for 15 minutes 4 times a week. Nothing more.  If you exit the door these 4 times I bet you will walk longer and start to enjoy it.  In fact stop reading this.  Grab a jacket, sombrero (for my sunny climate readers) and go out for 15 minutes.  The blog will still be here.  Go on, go now!

3. Read More
You are back!  Hope you enjoyed your walk.  Read more is another classic.  You are going to read deep thoughtful books and become an intellectual.  If you are not even reading road signs at the moment this is not an achievable goal.

OK Shakespeare hit me with the better goal!
If you are not a regular reader except for PC screens then here are two friends that will help you.  The scissors and the printer.  When you see an article in a magazine or newspaper copy it or cut it out (make sure nobody has the article in their hands at the time it can get dangerous. If you want to read one of those book things then join the library they are no longer the dusty places of your childhood,  have friendly staff and they will order books that they don’t have in stock. Stuff a book into your bag and read it in your spare time.

4. Give up Smoking
Now I have never smoked but I know it is a hard habit to kick.  My own mother died of cancer and smoked 60-70 Sweet Afton  (untipped cancer sticks) a day.  I think she smoked when she slept  On her death bed she wanted a cigarette. So it is not easy.

Sorry to hear about that but any ideas?

Nope.  Unless you really want to do this from your heart and are willing to endure the pain and hard work its not going to happen.  No I do not have a pithy off the cuff tip except for this.  Your family, children hate you smoking, you smell when you smoke and when people think of you one of the first associations is cigarettes (I have few photos of my mother without a cigarette in her hand).  Think about it but don’t do it for others.

5. Watch Less TV
Oh yeah right, bet you have the TV on right now as you read this.  Believe me nobody on their death bed said “I wish I had watched more of X Factor”.

So Mr Two TVs and a Portable what is your direction (pun get it!)?
There is only one answer to watching less TV and that is RECORD.   Record your favourite programs and watch them later or in bulk.  It removes the advertisements and you can fast forward the boring bits.  Go for your 15 minute walk in the saved time (oh you are just after one sorry). Bet you even watch the recording/

6. Catch Up With Friends
It’s a fact with males especially that we do not talk enough with our friends any more in the fast paced lives we lead.  But this is again a fuzzy resolution.

Speak Mr Popular Tell All!!!!
Simple – open your phone right now.  Call a friend.  Say Hi, how about a coffee today?  Not a pint that is doomed.  Meet for coffee have a chat and make a date for the next coffee.  You will be glad you did it and so will your friend.

7. Join a Gym
Yes if you join a gym in January your life will change.  Of course it will change.  You will be down a slab of cash.  The gym owner will be able to  change his car and you will be none the better off.

But I have the Lycra tights – what will I do?
If you want to use a gym there are lots that have a pay as you go deal.  Try this out first.  Go meet with one of their trainers,  explain how you have started eating porridge and are walking 4 times a week (I assume that these are rock solid goals now!) and they will show you a simple workout.  If by Mid March the receptionist recognises you when you enter the gym then think about paying out the fee.

9. Get Up Earlier and Do More
You are going to rise at 5.30 and greet the day with a yodel and read, get fit, eat healthily and … No you aren’t not a hope. So many people say they will make ‘more use of their hours’ and end up actually getting up later.

So Mr Cock-A-Doodle-Doo what is the options
Everyone has the same ampunt of hours in the day (no I am not going to start a time management rant). Get up 5 minutes earlier tomorrow and open your notebook with your goals and scribble out how you have done. This activity alone will be of benefit. If you haven’t bought the notebook then use a piece of kitchen roll just log it for gawds sake!  Tracking progress is important and for those 5 minutes it will help.  Try and get up another 5 minutes earlier tomorrow.

10. New Years Resolutions are Crap I don’t believe in them
Correct.  The worse time of the year to make a resolutions is 11.59 as crumbs of mince pie are all over your chin and you slurp another beer while huggin your mortal enemy and wish them a Happy New Year.  Best to wait till a few days later.  Set a reminder in your phone for a weeks time and sit down and set the goals then

My son Ronan knows his tech and wanted a laptop REALLY badly.  He is 10 and has a desktop and an Ubuntu desktop (he set it up) and an old (8 yrs) laptop donated from an uncle on its last legs – this sets the frame I hope for his knowledge base.  He listens to CNET podcasts every day and is watching he Google Android phone developments with interest – plus there is his iPhone App idea which I think has potential!

1. Ronan saved 900 Euro over the past 12 months from pocket money, birthday gifts spare cash, and the final Christmas day top ups from his loving parents and Aunts, and Uncles.
2. He skipped Christmas Day presents for the potential savings to be had at sales.  At 10 this was a big deal (FFS at 40 it’s a big deal).  We gave him some smaller presents on the day but he was focussed on the sales!!

1. St Stephens Day the PC World shops were meant to open at 9 for the sales (per newspaper and web).  We were up early.  Braved the icy roads but the PC World shop in Mahon was not open till 10AM.  Currys next door was open but they did not have the spec he wanted (they had no 1Gb memory cards and he had his heart set on a Toshiba Satellite Pro).  Exit Currys.
2. We did some other stuff and then went back at 10AM to be first in the door.  We were!
3. First off the staff (see picture above) couldn’t find the model he wanted.  2 of the staff scurried around looking.  We found the one we wanted on display before them. .  Eyes glisten (ours not the staff – theirs stopped glistening years ago),  Money is burning hole in pocket. BUT – product was NOT reduced in sale (in fairness none of the higher end laptops were)  They tried to tell Ronan that there was a reduction but we have been in this store multiple times through November and December so the price was at least 6-8 weeks old (745 Euro).  Now Ronan had planned to buy laptop, bag, external HDD (1TB), and a gaming mouse as well so at 745 this was a setback to his planned spend.
4. The staff member then informed us that there was only one display model.  Glistening faded a bit. We asked if there was discount due to this.  He scurried off to find Willie Wonka, came back and told us no it had only been there since Christmas Eve.  We consulted and said OK we will take the hit.  Can we see the box please?
5. Then they couldn’t find the box. Much staff running around looking for the box – cue music from movie.
6. I wandered off to the Apple store part of the shop and met someone working there who had a brain and was helpful and professional.  While there another of the staff noticed me there and gave me photocopy of a voucher for 10% off Apple products (part of their don’t let customers escape program).  Ronan is  a fan of Apple so..
7. Toshiba box appeared eventually (funny that it had only been on display since Christmas Eve but took over 15 mins to find it) – time had dragged on we were fed up of the lack of flexibility and product knowledge of these people and they tended to surround us each time we had a question.
8. Ronan is also an Apple fan so we returned to the Apple guy – great conversation.  They spoke about the pros and cons.  He spoke with Ronan and treated him like an adult who knew what he was talking about. They spoke about the CPU utilisation pros and cons.  PC World staff person loitered in background with Toshiba box. So we had a  10% voucher in hand and we decided on the Macbook which had an 80 Euro reduction and though a bit higher than planned spend he had admired it so made the decision.
9. Then another member of staff appeared and said we couldn’t use a photocopy of the voucher.  Now I am the most mild mannered person in the world but at this stage we were ready to walk out but for Ronan’s eagerness to buy something. Oompla Loompa music played in background.
10. Eventually “the manager” agreed that we could use the voucher. Thanks!  In background there was much gathering up of photocopies of the voucher that were everywhere in the bloody shop.  Chocolate sales stalled for a few minutes I guess.
11. We then went to  cash out with the product in hand and at checkout another staff member poked his head in and tried to sell us Apple Care for 250 Euro as we were talking to the original ‘staff’ member.  Kept hands in pocket and didn’t strangle him.
12. Eventually left with desired product and a bad taste in mouth. Music faded in background as we drove off.

Now Ronan is thrilled with his Macbook.  But PC World need to learn about customer service.  We were continually being tag teamed by additional people handing us vouchers,  selling us Apple Care, asking if we would like Anti Virus etc.  The staff bar Apple person were all one trick ponies with no real feel for dealing with people.

The Apple Store guy was the only guy with a brain who was a gentlemen and I praise him. All hail.

More importantly they lost a customer in Ronan.  Not me I am not a high spender.  He will not darken their door again.  He asked us to buy him a 3V card with the balance of his money so he can go online..  He had planned to buy the above products in PC World so they lost an additional 150 Euro in purchases.  Plus he will be buying tech for the rest of his life and will not go near them again.  Bye bye PC world, ignore the Daddies and Mammies fine but it’s the little guys who matter.  Plus Ronan has told the above story 10 times to all our relations passing on the bad news.

Here is Ronan in heaven opening the Mac in the back of the car on way

There seems to be hundreds of people out there promoting how to make money blogging.  So I have decided to make a New Years Resolution on this blog.  I am going to try and make the price of a pint every month using this blog.  Aim high I say.  Here is my high tech method to achieve this.  Keep it quiet everyone will be doing it..

1. Blog my ass of about ‘certain topics’  Make them stand out from the competition.  Hard work – very hard work.
2. SEO the living daylights out of it. Hard work again
3. Write regularly – with authority on this topic at least 4 times a week – more hard work
4. Tell people about and ask them for comments on the content and feedback – More hard work
5. Add a humorous graphic to each post – more hard work
6. Collect money – Easy
7. Drink Pint – Easy
8. Oh I will honestly share with you how I am doing on making money.

Cool Gift – Huh?

When I was a lad I was a scooter boy – really. Those were the days. Going to Nationl Rallys were my life for a few years. Oh yes I Love the smell of two stroke – genuinely… This sign does it for me.

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